Soleus Lestrange
Life wouldn't be so precious dear if there never was an end
Posts: 373
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Post by Soleus Lestrange on Aug 21, 2013 17:21:47 GMT
Soleus swallowed again, and dropped his eyes to the floor not wanting to see her looking so upset because of him.
"I know you did. I get it." He took a step forward, and reached out, wiping her slightly smudged mascara gently with his thumb. He sighed, and gave her a pained sort of look. "I.." He raked his teeth across his bottom lip, holding it in his mouth for a moment while he gathered his words.
"I didn't want this to end, either. I was starting to think this could actually work out pretty well for us. But in another time and place. If you got hurt because of this, I don't know what I'd do. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for hurting you anyway." His hand had moved to tuck away a piece of her hair that had fallen sadly onto her cheek, but he had touched her hair about five times now, even though it was definitely secure, just using it as a distraction; something to look at that wasn't quite so heartbreaking.
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Post by Ashley Godfrey on Aug 21, 2013 17:28:43 GMT
Ashley sadly flopped down onto a chair in the common room and hid her face in her hands for a moment taking deep breaths, turning to look up at him she squeaked softly "there isn't anything I can do to convince you to still want me?" she asked.
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Soleus Lestrange
Life wouldn't be so precious dear if there never was an end
Posts: 373
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Post by Soleus Lestrange on Aug 21, 2013 17:41:58 GMT
Soleus sucked his bottom lip back in, biting it hard while he fought off the urge to run over and cradle her to him. He shook his head, and ran his tongue over the indentations he'd just made, struggling to find the right words again.
"You don't get it, Ashley, I do still want you. You're... Well, I don't know. You're adorable, and kind, and smart, and utterly beautiful. You mean a lot to me. I do still want you, Ashley. Just not here, not now, not in this." He thumbed his inked forearm nervously as he spoke, his eyes rather wide and genuine. "I don't think you really know what we do." He lowered his voice, tilting his head to one side. "What I do. If you knew maybe things would be different. Maybe then I wouldn't have to convince you right now. You'd be running away while you could." He cast his eyes to the floor, and lifted his hand, rubbing his mouth uncomfortably with his fingers.
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Post by Ashley Godfrey on Aug 21, 2013 17:45:19 GMT
Ashley hid her face in her hands and sniffled softly as she listened to Soleus speak, she knew he was just trying to look out for her but that didn't make her feel any better at the moment so she just sat there with her head in her hands.
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Soleus Lestrange
Life wouldn't be so precious dear if there never was an end
Posts: 373
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Post by Soleus Lestrange on Aug 21, 2013 17:57:08 GMT
Soleus waited a few moments, letting her have a while to calm slightly. He moved over to her and moved onto his knees, then reached forward and gently moved her hands from her face, wiping her tears from both sides of her face, trying to help. "Please stop crying. I know your mother will be disappointed. But it's my fault, she can't be mad at you. It won't last forever, though. She won't be mad forever. Anyway...You'll find someone better. Someone who can actually look after you and care for you and not put you in danger every single day. Your mother has to understand that. I'll tell her, if you like. I'll help. I'm sorry, Ashley. Please stop crying." His voice was strained and it sounded like he was on the verge of pleading. He kept trying to remind himself that he'd rather see her upset than actually hurt, physically.
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Post by Ashley Godfrey on Aug 21, 2013 18:07:22 GMT
Ashley absentmindedly snuggled into his hands as he wiped at her eyes and sniffled softly "w-what about what I want?" she said in a soft small voice looking up at him more tears threatening to pour at any minute "I-I don't care if you are trying to protect me I wouldn't set foot in that house ever again a-and i-it's not like I go traveling with you I-I don't agree with what you do but I-" she inhaled sharply and stopped herself from saying what she was about to say then sniffled "I don't want to leave you" She placed her head on the coffee table in front of where she sat and fell silent once again.
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Soleus Lestrange
Life wouldn't be so precious dear if there never was an end
Posts: 373
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Post by Soleus Lestrange on Aug 21, 2013 18:44:40 GMT
"Ashley.." He said softly, his eyes wavering uncomfortably at her small sad form. He closed his eyes, swallowing hard.
"Ashley. If your mother is gonna be this pissed at you for this then I swear on Merlin's beard I will go over to your house and explain the whole thing myself. And I won't be as nice as I am to you." He moved onto his feet, and then pulled a seat up to sit across from her, sitting heavily into it and nibbling his lower lip again. He touched her arm gently, trying to get her to look at him.
"I don't want to leave you either Ashley. But you're too precious, beautiful." He tried a half smile, even though it was quite plainly forced.
He tried a different approach. "Besides...It's just me, just Soleus. I'm no good as anyone's husband, doll, you know that. Especially yours. I can't let this happen to you. I'm selfish, and a cheat, right - I'm not a keeper, babe. I'd just fuck everything up eventually. You know that. You're smarter than that."
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Post by Ashley Godfrey on Aug 21, 2013 18:53:00 GMT
Ashley turned to look up at him again and sniffled "is it bad that right now I don't really care if that is what I know about you?" she smiled faintly and sniffled her head tilting to the side, she knew he was right but she was being honest she knew that about him from the start and never really let herself think it because she wanted things to work out for her mother but now it was just as much for her if not more.
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Soleus Lestrange
Life wouldn't be so precious dear if there never was an end
Posts: 373
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Post by Soleus Lestrange on Aug 21, 2013 19:12:55 GMT
Soleus sighed, and dropped his eyes, not wanting to look at her faint smile for too long in case he just gave in and showered her in kisses and would immediately regret it.
"Then I'd say I've already fucked you up, you're acting dumb. The faster you run the better, Ashley." His tone wobbled a little, but he tried to sound confident with his words. It was odd to him that he had to force out his aura of confidence for once, as usually it came so naturally to him. "Anyway, did you hear what I said earlier?" His voice dropped to less than a whisper, even though anyone else that had been present in the common room had cleared out with all the crying and pleading. "I'm not a good person. You are. Do you know what we do, out there?" He raised an eyebrow, looking earnest, already hating himself for pushing her away but feeling it was necessary.
"Do you know what I did over the last weekend? Why we were at that place with the aurors in the first place? Because one of the others accidentally killed the dumbass I'd had under the Imperious curse for the last three weeks and we had to go back and bring back another." He gave her a serious look, one that might have been threatening to anyone else but with her he produced a softer warning look, one that looked more concerned than cruel; a soft reminder to keep her lips sealed. He didn't look apologetic, just truthful. "You don't wanna be around me, trust me. You don't know me."
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Post by Ashley Godfrey on Aug 21, 2013 19:18:23 GMT
Ashley winced and sunk into her shoulders looking upset but didn't bother protesting anymore, like always she just caved and catered to what the other person wanted from her, nodding slowly she bit on her lower lip and wiped at some fresh tears then just flopped her head onto Soleus' shoulder and snuggled into him.
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Soleus Lestrange
Life wouldn't be so precious dear if there never was an end
Posts: 373
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Post by Soleus Lestrange on Aug 21, 2013 19:26:30 GMT
Soleus pressed his lips together again, wondering why he felt the need to explain himself so much to her. A couple of weeks ago, he'd have laughed at himself for acting so.. normal. He wanted to grimace and shake himself, what the fuck was going on? He didn't care about feelings. He fucked for fun and for release, not this relationship crap, whatever this was. Because whatever was going on was obviously more than him just looking out for a friend. He cared too much about her, and he knew that was never ever a good sign. He should get up and leave right now. Just get away. Find a grimy bar and a girl who's lipstick was smudged and who didn't care about him, but looked great in her dress and made him forget.
Instead of doing anything else, he just wrapped an arm around her, and stroked her hair softly, trying to comfort her. "You'll be safe." He mused gently, an attempt at soothing her raw emotions.
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Post by Ashley Godfrey on Aug 21, 2013 19:31:07 GMT
Ashley sniffled once again but kept quiet and just held on tighter to him her eyes closed tight wishing she could go back to that morning and that she just stayed in bed wit him the entire day, even if that meant missing brunch with her mother. She definitely didn't want to pull away yet scared he'd leave and never talk to her again. She missed him already.
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Soleus Lestrange
Life wouldn't be so precious dear if there never was an end
Posts: 373
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Post by Soleus Lestrange on Aug 21, 2013 19:37:22 GMT
Soleus' expression fell into one even more pained while she wasn't looking, and he tipped his head back, closing his eyes to steady himself. "Someday, you're gonna thank me, Ashley Godfrey." He murmured, his voice so low in pitch it was almost incomprehensible. He opened his eyes, trying a small sad smile, and kissed the top of her head tenderly. "When you're all old and happy and everything. I bet you will."
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Post by Ashley Godfrey on Aug 21, 2013 19:39:33 GMT
Ashley half-smiled back at him then mumbled softly a playful little grin creeping up "and you're going to regret not staying with me when you are that old drunk in the corner of the bar talking about the good old days when you weren't balding with whiskers" she giggled a tiny giggle and shook her head looking up at him lovingly without meaning to "I'm just kidding"
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Soleus Lestrange
Life wouldn't be so precious dear if there never was an end
Posts: 373
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Post by Soleus Lestrange on Aug 21, 2013 19:45:59 GMT
Soleus chuckled, still stroking her hair, feeling some odd sense of finality in the grin he returned. "I don't care as long as you're safe. Maybe I'll come back for you." He said softly, not meaning to, but it had slipped out before he managed to stop it. His grin faltered, but only for a moment. "Please don't miss me. Don't cry over this. Honestly, if you knew everything, you'd never shed a tear over me. Please. Not for me."
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